About this Episode
Hi folks, it's Lyn here.
It's May 14, 2020. Erik and I are here in the current United States epicenter of the virus. In fact, before I married Erik, I lived in the Kirkland, WA neighborhood where the first 19 lives were lost at the Life Care Center.
With COVID-19 top of mind for the globe I'm realizing that our world is going to change and will likely never be the same. My hope is that we all are thinking more globally, that we are more quick to come together as a community, and that we all learn how to be more compassionate and loving humans at our core.
In this conversation with Ben, he talks about how our personalities are less permanent than we think they are. He gives us strategies and outlooks for how we can in some ways change who we fundamentally are.
Our past experiences do not have to dictate our future personality.
We don't have to stay stuck.
There are second, third, and fourth chances in life.
But, it doesn't come naturally and you must learn how to tap into the practices required to make this happen
Benjamin Hardy's upcoming book releases June 16, 2020, but his message is so poignant for today that we wanted to get this conversation to you ahead of the change we inevitably going to see globally. I want all of us to be thinking of how we as individuals would like to change and then use Ben Hardy's tools to help us get there along the way.
Then, when his book launches, I'll remind you to pick up your own copy!
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Willpower Doesn't Work by Benjamin Hardy
Some of our favorite quotes
The past isn't the ultimate predictor of future. You need to thoughtfully adjust the past and then you can dictate the past and your future.
Your past is a narrative. Context is more important than content. Once you take ownership of your narrative of who you are and what that means, and if you can frame it from a positive and from a gratitude perspective, then the past is happening for you not to you. It opens you up.
There's two types of trauma. There is "T" trauma that are events that become a story that shape your personality. There is also "t" trauma that are low grade and also shape your personality.
You'll know you are in a good place when the past is information rather than emotion.
Most people believe you are the same personality for your whole life. This doesn't need to be true.
Personality tests tend to create tunnel vision and then become a dictator of the choices you make. I'd rather see our life goals dictate what kind of personality we want to create.
Defining your future self and being honest about what you want is key.
Trauma isn't what happens to you. It's what you hold inside because of the absence of a compassionate witness.
About Dr. Benjamin Hardy
Dr. Benjamin Hardy is an organizational psychologist and bestselling author Willpower Doesn't Work. From 2015-2018, he was the #1 writer in the world on Medium.com. During that time, he grew his email list from 0 to 400,000 without paid advertising. Ben and his wife Lauren adopted three children from the foster system in February 2018 and one month later, Lauren got pregnant with twins who were born in December of 2018. They live in Orlando. Ben's blogs are read by millions monthly.
About Personality Isn't Permanent
Personality Isn’t Permanent debunks the pervasive myths of personality that have captured pop culture. For example, personality tests like Myers-Briggs and Enneagram are not only psychologically destructive but are no more scientific than horoscopes. Personality Isn’t Permanent provides science-based strategies for reframing past memories, becoming the scribe of your identity narrative, upgrading your subconscious, and redesigning your environment. Science proves you are going to change throughout your life. You might as well be intentional about that change.
Personality Isn't Permanent by Benjamin Hardy
An Erik Lindbergh original.
Lyn Lindbergh's award winning book.